A Reflection on Fr. Thomas Hopko

(from the days after his funeral, ten years ago)

I had written this reflection on my relationship (and that of my family) with Fr. Tom Hopko, and recently rediscovered it, here 10 years and a week later:

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I’ve been meaning to write my reflections on Fr. Thomas Hopko, his life and his death, since he passed away. But others who have known him so much better or are so much better acquainted with his work, have already written and so much more eloquently than I can.

Yet, I do feel compelled. I feel I owe him and his family so much. As my friend Kevin Scherer said, “He made everyone feel special.” So true. So there is nothing so special in my having been made to feel special.

But there it is. When he was with you, He was PRESENT. You were taken seriously. At that moment, you WERE special to him. Is that not what we all desire? To be taken seriously? To have someone try to understand you? For at least a moment, to be “special?”

Thus even in his PRESENCE, he was ever the teacher. His mere presence was pedagogical….instructive. At once ENCOURAGING me in showing that I was important to him and to God, AND CHALLANGING me, that I need to be that same healing presence. It was from Fr. Tom that I learned the Orthodox dictum: “What is the most important time? Right now. What is the most important place? Right here. Who is the most important person? The person right in front of me.” He truly practiced what he preached.

My family has spent a good part of the last week reminding each other of the Fr. Tom stories that we share. It occurred to me that we have quite a few and have probably forgotten some. What a blessing to have gotten to spend so much time with him. Since the late ‘90’s the family has pretty much annually pilgrimaged to the Orthodox monastery of the Transfiguration in Ellwood City, PA., where he served very regularly as he had retired to the area. (His son-in-law is the groundkeeper there.) Thus, we had the blessing of at least annually hearing him liturgize and preach and have informal conversations in the vestry and at coffee hour.

My kids loved to emulate his style of singing (with speaking) the Liturgy. His singing the Paschal troparion with a unique cadence was a special favorite, and to hear my kids do it sounds more like Wayne Newton or some other crooner….”Everybody now! Christ is risen from the dead…..”

My kids did (do!) love him….I think they could pick up on the fact that he was a loving Grandfather. One of my favorite moments occurred when Fr. Tom was asking us about our life at the seminary, when Mary Katherine innocently asked him, “Hey Fr. Tom, have you ever been to St. Vlad’s?” (Mat’ Anne particularly got a kick out of that.)

The opportunities I had to serve with him, both as a deacon and a priest, are priceless and will not be forgotten. It was very intimidating as a new deacon to serve at the monastery (in a different liturgical tradition) to begin with, then add the Dean Emeritus of St. Vladimir’s to the mix. And I did make my mistakes. At the vigil, I realized I had left my book in the altar right before the intercession. I asked Fr. Tom if I should retrieve it. He said, never mind, and proceeded to do the whole intercession himself…..from memory.

Another time, I was to read the gospel during Liturgy. In the OCA, the deacon reads from the middle of the church (In Antioch, we read from the bishop's chair). I got to the middle of the church, opened the book, and realized that even though I had read the passage at the guest house, I had no idea where to find it in the OCA Gospel book. Fr. Tom had to leave the altar to come out and point out the reading to me. When I apologized after the service, he said to me, "It is no sin to make a mistake. But it is a sin to not be prepared." Touche.

Finally, as a new priest we were there for Epiphany. I served with Fr. Tom for the Feast day, but Mother Christophora asked me if I would serve the Liturgy for the next day. I jumped at the opportunity but then remembered that I would have to preach a sermon. No computer at the guest house. No smart phone. Lots of books on spirituality on the shelves, but none on Biblical exegesis. I did my best to prepare something from the texts from my bible, and thought I had something. But as I turned to face the people after the Gospel and saw Fr. Tom sitting there….my mind went totally blank. I am not sure what I said, but I am sure it was not interesting OR edifying! BUT, he either did not let that bother him, or he wanted to cheer me up, and honored me with asking me to bless his house, which I joyfully did! (My very first house blessing.)

Fr. Thomas was a gift from God to the Church in so many ways: of course a noted academic, with a rol-a-dex mind. A GIFTED teacher. If you have not listened to one of his podcasts, DO NOT DELAY! A fiery preacher. A learned Biblical exegete. A joyful liturgist.

But what I learned, or realized this past weekend at his visitation, was what a loving family man he was. And in my mind that is his greatest gift to us. He loved his wife Matushka Anne and his children dearly. His eyes would light up when talking about his grandkids (and now great-grandkids). But even now, I get goosebumps, and tears come to my eyes as I think of how joyful his family was at his homegoing. And so kind to all of us who came to “cheer them up.” When they sang the evlogetaria at the memorial service, I was not sure whether I was standing in heaven or on earth. Their laughter at the stories they shared were as numerous as their tears at his coffin.

Many of you know my dad passed away a year ago on Christmas. But he had been absent from my life since my teens. I am not sure I knew it then, but part of my search for Orthodoxy was a search for fatherhood. And that is indeed what I have been given in Orthodoxy. Fathers I can look up to, and who serve as models for me as I attempt to live out “fatherhood” in my own life. Fr. Tom was one such example, and I am very grateful to God for his presence in my life. I certainly have no excuse anymore.

May Protopresbyter Thomas’s memory be eternal!